I woke up. But I don’t think I was sleeping. Maybe it wasn’t so much waking up as being born.
I was a small raggedy Anne doll. Button eyes. A mop of red hair. A thin threadbare smile.
What was I? I moved slowly. I don’t think I could do that before. I don’t think I could even think before.
I push myself up and sat on the ground. I looked around. A small child’s bedroom. Yes I remember her. A little girl.
But she was killed many years ago. Her skeleton was under the bed.
The room was dusty. How long had I lain on the floor after the little girl was killed?
A long time. A very long time. Everything was dusty. I was dusty.
I brushed myself off. And stood up.
It was hard. I wasn’t used to standing up on my own. The little girl always helped me before. But after a couple of tries, I got the knack for it.
Thin sunlight streamed through the window. I should try and get up there. To look out.
That was easier said than done. Luckily there was a desk in front of the window, and in front of the desk was a chair. I was still too short to reach it.
But there was a backpack next to the desk if I could knock it over, I could climb up it. But that was also very hard.
Knocking into it wasn’t working. And, I hadn’t quite gotten used to walking, so couldn’t really build up speed.
Maybe if I hit the top of it with something? I looked around and grabbed a small chapter book. The Magic Fort. I remembered this one. The girl used to read it with all of us.
Right there used to be more dolls than just me. Where were they? I looked around. Nothing. No one.
But the door was open. Maybe they left.
Should I follow them? I looked around again and remembered the window. I wanted to look out it. That’s what I should do.
I clumsily tossed the book at the top of the backpack. I missed. I toddled over to the book to try again.
After a couple more tries, I managed to hit the top of the bag. It teetered over and spilled out all of it’s contents.
That could work. I began stacking the notebooks, folders, and binders that had been stored in the bag.
Using my makeshift platform, I jumped to the chair. It rolled backwards a little, but it was still quite close to the desk. Another jump had me on top.
I kicked up a lot of dust. I waved at the air, hoping to settle it down.
Once it finally settled, I managed to look out the window.
Oh.
“How horrible.” My own voice surprised me. It sounded very young and childlike. It reminded me of the voice the girl had used when she played with me.
Outside was indeed horrible. Snow covered the ground, and what little light there was struggled to get through the cloud cover.
But winter didn’t mean bad. People like to hold celebrations in winter, and put up bright lights. I was given to the girl during one of these celebrations, from a small box.
But there were no lights outside now. The other houses looked dark and empty. Some had trash strewn about the yards.
Where was everyone?
Was I all alone?
I sat, staring out the window. What should I do? I achieved my goal of looking out the window. But now I had nothing else.
Without others, there was no point to anything. I wished the girl was here. I missed her.
I looked forlornly at the bed. Her name was Lucy, and she always knew exactly what to do. But she was gone.
And I was alone.
The thin light began to fade as I continued staring out the window, lost.
Then, a light in the distance. Then another.
Lights came on one after another, lighting up tall skyscrapers in the far distance.
People? Other toys like me? It didn’t matter. If there were lights, that means someone was turning them on.
I had a new goal. Find whoever turned on the lights. But it was a lot farther than the window. And it looked very cold and dark outside.
I’d have to be prepared.
I looked around again. I was on a dusty desk, next to the bed. What could I use?
No. A better question was what would I need?
A blanket, to stay warm in the cold. Something I could use to light the dark, like a flashlight.
Oh! What if I get hurt? When one of us got hurt before, Lucy’s mother would sew us back together.
So I needed needle and thread.
They would be downstairs, near the sewing machine. Along with a blanket small enough to carry, and a flashlight.
Now to get downstairs.
I walked to the edge of the desk, and tumbled down. I landed at an awkward angle, but soon stood up.
Now that I was back on ground level, I looked back over at the bed. Or rather, under the bed.
I saw Lucy’s skull looking back, surrounded by dark stains.
“Goodbye Lucy, I’ll miss you.” My clear young voice rang out again, startling me in the silence. Then, I walked out the door.
Downstairs was just as dusty as upstairs, but luckily the carpets helped me keep from kicking too much up.
The sewing machine was in the laundry room. I skirted the large skeleton of Lucy’s father and made my way to the back.
Oh. The door was closed. How was I going to open it?
I looked around the living room. The couch. A tipped over coffee table. A mug on the floor.
The kitchen maybe? I was getting the hang of movement, so I hurried into the kitchen.
The backdoor, stove, counters, sink, and Lucy’s mother underneath another table.
Hmm. Bones? I walked over to the skeleton to try and pick one up.
Nope. Far too heavy. I dropped it and looked around for another solution.
There was a coatrack near the door. On it we’re raincoats, scarves, and umbrellas.
Umbrellas. I rushed to the coatrack, but realized it was in vain. I couldn’t jump high enough to reach them.
But I could try the same thing as the backpack.
I got between the coatrack and the wall, and began to push. Not strong enough. I needed more leverage.
Stepped up onto the wall, and wedged my body between them. Then I pushed with all my might.
It took a moment, but I got it far enough that gravity took over. It clattered to the floor with a loud bang. I also fell, but much more quietly.
I picked myself back up. I fell a lot. It was a good thing I couldn’t feel pain.
I grabbed an umbrella from the hook. It was an extend one, where I just had to push a button and it will puff out. No hooky end.
But I could work with this.
I dragged it to the living room, and set it and the mug up so it pointed at the door.
Time to launch. I climbed on the top, and pushed the button. Suddenly, I was flying through the air, towards the door. I had to grab the doorknob.
I slammed against the door, and promptly began to fall. I reached my arms out and yanked the doorknob.
I stopped my descent, but the doorknob didn’t move. I sat on top of it, planning my next move.
This wasn’t going to be easy. I didn’t have enough friction to turn the doorknob, but I also had to push the door open at the same time. I reached out to the doorframe, and touched the bottom of my shoes. They were a little sticky. Perfect.
I wedged myself between the doorknob and the wall, pushing my feet against it. Then I turned the knob with my feet.
Now came the tricky part. I had to push right with my feet while keeping the knob turned.
I pushed, shaking from the exertion of forcing my feet against the knob. But I succeeded.
I know I did because I suddenly fell to the floor once again. So, I picked myself up once again.
I could get into the sewing room.
The sewing machine was on the table next to the washing machine, but there was a small basket of supplies on the floor near the chair.
I began rummaging through the basket. I couldn’t carry that much. I took about two pins, and stuck them in my shoulders. That way I could use them and they could help keep me together if something tugged on my arms too hard.
I did the same to my legs. I couldn’t take much thread. Two spools. One of blue thread for my dress, and red thread for my hair. Then the sewing needle. Just one.
What else?
I was very silly. I needed something to cut the thread of course. I caught a gleam out of the corner or my eye. A small pair of sewing scissors. Sharp.
Perfect.
I grabbed that too. Now I just needed something to keep it all together. I grabbed a couple of cloth scraps scattered around the floor.
Maybe I should practice with my tools and make a bag before heading out.
My bag was packed. I had two spools of thread, a sewing needle, a pair of scissors, some cloth I made into a blanket, and a small flashlight from one of the coats.
I was ready to find people.
I stood at the threshold, ready to leave but hesitant. Does that mean I wasn’t ready to leave?
I looked around the kitchen. I didn’t spend a lot of time in here. But at least I knew it.
I had no idea what was out there.
Why was I here? Why did I wake up? I was just an ordinary doll. Where were all the other toys Lucy had?
My sentience had grown by leaps and bounds since I woke up. Back then, I could hardly keep track of my goal to get to the window.
But now I had a much bigger goal. One I absolutely had to reach.
Because I didn’t want to be alone anymore.
The door was already open. I took my first step outside.
I thought it would be cold. It wasn’t. Or maybe it was and I just couldn’t feel it.
But I could feel the wind. It threatened to lift me off the ground. But my bag helped weigh me down.
It wasn’t snowing, and I could easily walk on top of the snow. If it wasn’t for the wind, it would be easy.
That, and the dark. But I was getting used to that. It was my third day walking towards to the lighted buildings, and the flashlight batteries ran out last night.
But the buildings were a lot closer. Another day or two of walking and I’d get there.
But the dark was a problem. The sun was setting. And I had no flashlight.
I could keep walking, but in the dark I was liable to run into something, or if the weather took a bad turn I could get swept away.
I should bunk down in one of the houses. Except, there weren’t any houses. There were buildings. But they didn’t look like places people lived.
But where could I stay? I looked around.
I think there was a store to my left. A big one. And to my right.
A school. I turned to the school. Lucy always complained about school, but at least it was familiar.
The doors were broken, so I walked right in. Glass littered the floor, but I was careful to avoid it. But there was something else on the floor.
A bit of stuffing. I picked it up. Yep. Polyester stuffing. I looked around.
Broken glass from doors. A desk in front of me. Hallways splitting off to the left and right. No indication of where the stuffing is from.
Until I heard some shuffling behind the desk. The first movement I heard that wasn’t the wind or me.
“Hello?” the shuffling immediately stopped. ”Is someone there?”
I peeked around the desk.
The biggest toy I’ve ever seen stared back.
Glassy red eyes reflected light, boring into me. A hat with a large pom at the end, hands that were made of some kind of metal, tapered at the fingertips for sharpness. A darker shade of red.
And big red shoes. A clown. A clown the size of a three-year-old human.
He growled. “If you’re here to finish the job then go get your little friends. But tell them I’m not going down easy. I’ll take as many with me as I can.”
He was injured. A large rip from his shoe up his side. It was amazing that more stuffing hadn’t leaked out.
“You’re hurt.”
He was surprised. “What? What does that matter?” He gave me a once over.
“You… how old are you? When did you wake up?”
“Two days.” I blinked as he let out a string of words I didn’t recognize.
“Son of a bunny, a fresh toy? Now!?” he let out a shuddering sigh. “Listen, keep heading towards the city. They’d welcome a new toy. You shouldn’t get wrapped up with me.”
“I can help.” I pulled out my needle.
He was shocked. “Where on Earth did you find that?”
I edged around the desk. “Can I help you?”
He looked down at his side then shook his head. “I’m a dead doll walking. Don’t waste it on me. Go away.”
I shuffled a little closer.
“Stay back!” He snapped.
“You’re the first person I’ve ever met. What’s your name?”
“I mean it. If you get any closer, I will attack.”
I took another step. I was now practically next to him.
His claws flashed and hurtled towards me. They stopped an inch from my face.
“Leave. Me. Alone.”
“No.” I rocked back on my heels. “What’s your name?”
He growled and dropped his claws to hold his side again.
“… I’m not getting rid of you, am I?”
“Nope.”
He sighed. “Then hurry up and patch me up. But once you’re done, keep heading towards the city. I’m bad news.”
“Yeah, you said that already.” I pulled out my red thread. It was little thicker than the blue. And it better matched his color scheme.
It took a few tries, but I managed to thread the needle. Then, I got to work.
I peeked up from my work to get a closer look at him. He was big. A lot bigger than me. With sharpened claws and a big red nose.
“My name is Rosie.” I offered.
He sighed. “I’m not giving you my name, and when you run into other toys you shouldn’t tell them you met me.”
“Why not?”
“Well it’s a long story you’re better off not knowing. Once you’re done, you’re leaving. Just forget I ever existed.”
I made the stitches small. That way they would last longer. And it would take longer for me to finish.
“Mr. Clown, do you know what happened?”
“That’s a rather broad question. Care to narrow it down?”
“I mean,” I gestured around me. “Its all empty. It wasn’t always like this.”
He grunted. Then was quiet for a moment. “No it wasn’t. The humans tore each other apart. They’re all gone now.”
“But why?”
“I’m afraid the nature of humanity is beyond my academic capabilities.”
“Ok, but why us? Why are we awake?” I was going slowly. I hadn’t had a lot of practice with the needle, but I wanted to make him better than before.
He sighed. “It was something the humans did before they left. Something about leaving a legacy through love.” He snorted. “Some legacy. We’re just making the same mistakes they did.”
“Oh. What kind of mistakes?”
“I’m not telling you my life story. How far along are those stitches?”
“Um, I’m halfway done.”
“Hurry up. It’s getting dark out that means-“
A third voice hanging over the desk interrupted. “That I’ll be arriving.”
